1 week til Chat
2 weeks til graduation

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So excited for the summer, at the same time...so scared. Of what? I don't know either.
I know next year will be fine. I know it.

I just need some reassurance right now.

So thanks to everyone for being so patient with me. It's so painful to count down the remaining fourteen days; yet I still count down obsessively. I hope it's not because I like hurting myself subconsciously or something. That wouldn't be nice of me. As Irene told me that Lin lao shi told her...the most pain is left on the ones that are left behind (tried my best to translate -_-). I've left many things behind in my life. Maybe one too many. I wonder if I've ever hurt anyone. 

Today was a blur. Pixelated. After our amazing volleyball game, I went back to my room and started to do homework. For some reason, I couldn't focus. I just stared at it for an hour. It sucks how I never do Spanish on the days when I have an hour's break because I just do it then -_-. Automatic. Such a bad habit. So then I ran to Irene's room and cuddled in bed with her. That came out wrong. Dinner..blake..then Elena left and we all just broke down. Of course, I didn't cry in front of her..Wen and I went for a "walk" after she left and we just...talked and talked. It's freezing outside.

That was the last "typical NMH" Saturday night.

Did you make the most out of it?

There will plenty next year. Just not with the same people. Of course, there will always be a space saved in my room for my darling 06ers so that there is no such thing as "last". But fuck, I'll miss you guys. I was telling Wen how crazy it would feel to not be able to pick up the phone, dial four numbers and be like..greenfield, 6, in front of blake, bam. You know? It's just a weird feeling. But I am confident. Confident that next year, I'll be able to pick up the phone, dial a few more numbers than 4, and be able to talk like they were still here.

For now though, I'm just so grateful. I know, cheesy cheesy. Graduation day is inevitable, we can't control its arrival. But we can control the fourteen days before it.

So lets make the best of it.

We all deserve it.

Much love.

Hm, I want to write at the randomest moments.

Probably because Dilys checks her xanga here cuz her comp is broken, so I feel the urge to update mine too keke ( :

Spring break starts in three days. Wow.
Going to Brazil with mom, so excited.
Never been to a foreign country, except America.

Gonna get root canal. One stupid tooth. Pain. Swollen face. $900. So expensive -_- Take care of your teeth guys. You'll miss them when they're gone ) :

Vagina Monologues was awesome. Performed "My Short Skirt". Didn't even have to act. Haha. Just kidding. I hope I got some respect about the way I dress (in summer) after the performance.

It's been a while. Lot's of things happening.
SAT. Work. A+. GPA. College. APs.
Those are some of the many things that are fighting, tooth and nail, to be on the top of my priorities list.

I never thought the day would come.

And bang, here I am, in prep school in America, facing the the beginning of one of the most important high school terms: Junior Spring.

So much pressure.

My math grades, as usual, are slipping.
Art is getting better with each piece. Phew.
Watercolor. Finally found a medium that I love. Love the feeling of applying the most subtle and delicate colors. Love mixing and pushing the colors around to make deep crevices and shadows. Love that kind of temporary control. Complete freedom to move the paint around when it's wet, and in a matter of seconds; losing it all when it suddenly dries. No warning. Gotta be happy with it, because that stuff is permanent. Love it.

Well, the fight is on.

Ready?

This is probably immensely random but i want to update.
Sorry for two-month neglection, my dear xanga (and my ever-faithful comrades).

Well, I've changed. To say the least. As you may be able to tell, I'm exercising correct grammar usage. Shock shock. This sounds really weird, but it's automatic and...the way I used to write - it disgusts me. I think this is my ultimate and final phase into a more..more..mature person.

School is unsually good. So good, that I don't want this term to end. The most disgusting thing? It's been one of the most shit-filled terms out of the four that I've been pushed together with 700 random kids in a vast amount of nothingness in western Massachusetts.

First week of school - Grace Lee comes into our room, goes through our stuff, and takes a LOT of money, our cameras and many other expensive accessories/shoes/clothes whatever. Grace Lee doesn't matter, she was nothing here and she's nothing now. She withdrew to save face, but would've gotten kicked out if she didn't. What pride. Anyway, that wasn't fun because some people got wrongly accused and we had room search until 1am. She only confessed when the police were going to come the next day. Loser, wasted our time. So that was shitty, then her roomate (who I love<3) got kicked out. Cursed room. A few weeks later, 5 girls get caught with coke and the distributor gets kicked out. Then four more kids get kicked out for drinking. All this is happening and in the background (or, on swis..) everyone is arguing with everyone about everything - the new schedule, new campus, internet - which inevitably leads to politics every single time. It's so annoying. Then there's a school-wide debate about racism, which I must say is immature and stupid - wake up buddy, the world out there is so much worse. We have it easy here. The debate, I must say, is leaning towards whites vs. blacks. I feel that none of the Asians in the school are even bothered to join in. Which is good, because it's going nowhere.

Enough about the institution, let's talk about me . Okay that was so conceited, but I just haven't been able to catch up with myself recently.

Played a season of Volleyball - best sport ever. Love my weird teammates :).

Eating healthily, for the most part...

Almost there on my way to a complete and utter love for literature/writing. US History is interesting, too. At the beginning of the term, I was mad at both of my classes - American Lit. and US His - I was afraid that I'd become "ignorant" but those two classes are everything but ignorant.

Too attached to my classes - I'm getting (as in..grades as of pre-finals..which are tomorrow..shit) an A+ (96) for English and A- for History. They are probably the only two classes that will lift up my GPA this year. Not looking forward to going back to being an average student. I hate it when people assume that I'm taking multivariable math at the same time and think that the only reason I'm getting such good grades in English is because I'm a typical extra-perfect asian. No no no no no. I am taking precalc in spring. I rely on English/Art to get me into college. Shut up ignorant idiosynchronists, if that's a word.

Thanksgiving - to my godparents ranch in upstate NY...then NYC.

Christmas - to Hong Kong and then Beijing with my BfF*~!!^^ Soph. Hahaha. PARTAY!

Finals are TOMORROW...if I get 59 (F-) on my two tests...my grade will be 91..not bad, not bad at all. I do not feel extremely out of the circle of geniuses right now. Feels kinda good, maybe I'll try to stay this way.

By the way, my roomate is the best. Love you Dilys Pooooon. You're not really funny, but that's what makes you funny. HAHA okay NOT funny. -_-

Dinner time.

Pics later?

Love.

Meng.

edit edit;
hollering another THANKS (sorry if this is getting old :D) to everyone (well..five so far..) who joined my blogring! i sent two recs to jingping and christina (kudos!) but i never checked who joined because i didn't think anyone would  i guess i can now advertise and say a big loud
join my blogring to show your mad love for the middle kingdom :D
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edit.
one more thing - i'd like to thank (somuch) the people who read, grasped and fathomed my culture, background and what not, in my last-last post. that blog was my seriousness on full drive. i'm so glad i can finally speak out; i've never heard such positive feedback towards my own views. i really appreciate it. thanks again.

-

greetings (:

i've lost five pounds ? i thought it was just my muscle turning into fat  but now i think i did lose some meat. my pre-america clothes that i left in hong kong fit again. ah well doesn't make much difference kaka :D.
anyway, eyecandy.

- janelle at my house -

yes janelle that turns me on.

janelle: "oh meng that turns me on more"
ok fine i made that up.   -_- im so lame
(look i have a little hitler moustache as well HAHAHA)
(did you know that hitler got so inspired by charlie chaplin that he copied his moustache?) SHUT UP MENG



we're soooo hot.

beach yo.


thats me trying not to burst out laughing -___-







janelle's ipod, my speakers, parknshop bag.
and a whole lotta OMG-AGHH-DONT-LET-THAT-TOUCH-THE-WATER-AGHHH-FUCK-AGGH-NO-LET-ME-HOLD-IT

that's all folks.

my flight back to us will be on 31st of august..holy mother of god those three freakin months are almost finished. it just like, hit me.
arghhhhh i am noot ready for junior year. im gonna go cry now. poo.

i love you all. be back in four months :''')..

much mad love.

meng.